I then heard a neighbor screaming at the RLA to come get the Noble Dog Nails. This neighbor owns (or lives with, depending on your thoughts about companion animals vs. pets) TNDN's arch-enemy, his mortal nemesis, the Evil Golden Retriever Thor.

Let me say right now that Thor is a lovely dog, with a handsome face and a beautiful thick coat. I like Goldens in general, and except for the fact that he hates my dog, I like Thor in particular.

Tonight, as the RLA took the trash to the street, our neighbor was walking Thor and his other dog. TNDN was loose in our fenced yard. He saw Thor coming and began barking and racing along the fence.

And then he found that the RLA hadn't yet locked the gate. That little 15-pound Jack Russell bulled open a driveway gate in a chain-link fence and went to attack Thor. Except Thor, who nates Nails as much as Nails hates him, was faster and bigger.

The RLA managed to pull Nails out of Thor's jaws, just as I was pounding out the front door in my bunny slippers. We got him inside, checked him out, and we took him to the doggy ER.

Many several puncture wounds and a scratched cornea later, this is what the Noble Dog Nails looks like.

For the record? The Noble Dog Nails was asking for a rematch.