Let’s make this quick: Ra’Mon is glad that Johnny’s gone so he can focus on design, not comforting Johnny’s neuroses. Nicolas is not here to make friends and he’s doing a fine job it. Nobody out here in the blogosphere likes him. Gordana was SHOCKED! to be in the bottom three. Speaking of the blogosphere, it is the general consensus out here that the judges all heartily dislike Gordana. Irana wants to win again.
Heidi on the runway tells the designers that they’ve been in El Lay long enough to see what the town is really all about: MOVIE MAKING!!!! Off they go to a sound stage and find Tim, Collier Strong and the magic velvet button bag. Their challenge today will be to chose a film genre, (Sci-Fi, Western, Action/Adventure, Period, or Noir) and to create a character. They must work with the make-up department to make their character come alive through wardrobe and make up.
Irina, as the winner, gets to chose her genre first. And in what is this reviewer’s first of many complaints, they are not forced to chose blindly, but can take what they want. Or at least the first few designers can. After Irina has carte blanche, there are two cards for each genre.
Irina goes for Noir, Logan takes Action/Adventure; Carol Hannah does too, saying she’s going to make a sexy assassin (ho-fucking-hum). Ra’Mon is a self-identifying Trekkie, so he leaps on the Sci-Fi. He’s stoked. Louise goes for (another SHOCKING development) Noir. As does Althea. Nicolas happily grabs the other Sci-Fi card and tells us (wait for it) that he’s always in Fantasyland, so this is a natural for him. Gordana grabs Period, as does Christopher, Shirin takes Western and poor, always last Epperson shrugs with defeat and takes the other Western card. I love Epperson. Have I said that before?
Shirin is going to make the best darn saloon girl in history. What a conceptual leap for a western character. Epperson considers his options and creates a story. Logan and Carol Hannah have side-by-side work tables and CH says that Logan is a huge distraction for her, being so hot and all. Logan doesn’t seem distracted by CH at all. They compare their sexy assassin wear.
Althea is going for a femme fatale. Another cliché from filmdom. Irina has immunity but wants to do something marvelous anyway. At Mood, there is half an hour and a mere $150 to spend. Christopher wants brocade, but it’s $30 a yard and he needs 7 yards. DanielFranco Lite wants to be experimental and daring. Good lord, do these people ever think outside of the box? I’m so bored with them all.
Wait! We are treated to A Minute with Epperson™. He says that he wanted period, was handed western, but with thought, figured out a way to treat a western as a period piece. He has created a character whose husband has gone off to war (Civil, one supposes) and is left to take care of the land. She has to toughen up. Gordana, with the entire history of the world at her disposal (period piece) has decided to do a flapper.
Today’s workroom drama is “who is stealing the bobbins?” Louise can find neither her bobbin nor a story line. She’s floundering around. DanielFranco Lite, on the other hand, has his story completely fleshed out. There are three sister queens who live on the stars in Orion’s belt. They watch over Earth. But one of them has decided that she wants to rule the entire universe. (That’s his girl.) The other sisters defeat her and send her to live in the ice caves of Planet Hoth. Ra’Mon has his story down, too. His character is a human slash lizard alien hybrid. He’s back to dying fabric green in the men’s room. More bobbin stealing. Oh NOES!
Trash talking in the work room: Logan says there’s still a lot of talent. Nicolas has lots of appliqué to do. Irina says Gordana can’t design. Tim comes for his walkabout and questions Christopher’s period piece (which, with the story line involving a vampire bride, has morphed into period sci-fi). Ostensibly a 19th century love story, the dress is sleeveless wedding dress, and Tim is concerned about the correctness of the style. Epperson has gone all Annie Get Your Gun and Tim is loving it. He is seduced by the denim ruffles. Ra’Mon is making either something sublime or a big hot mess: which exactly remains to be seen. Louise has completed an underslip. She shows her black fabrics to Tim who applauds her subtlety and nuance and then reminds her that these are not assets which show well on the runway.
DanielFranco Lite is using white for a villain. How mold-breaking! How daring! Tim tells him to go bigger and not to be safe but ambitious. This allows Nicolas to talk trash about Ra’Mon and opine that Sci-Fi is about beautiful women, and not Godzilla. Except, you know, it is. Ra’Mon, taking Tim’s criticism to heart, decides that his ensemble looks like Kermit the Frog gone bad, and not in a good way. Remembering that the last time he pulled something out of his ass at the last second he won the challenge, Ra’Mon decides to try that strategy again, and throws away his alien life form, certain that he can do something fabulous in two hours. Logan cocks an eyebrow at that. Nicolas is all OMG!!! Shirin is gonna make the best little saloon dress in the history of trite saloon dresses. Louise stitches right through her finger, and proving that she is, in fact an emotionless cyborg deadpans an “ouch” and keeps on sewing.
The morning of the runway dawns, and Logan is sure that he’ll get love from the judges, even though he’s wearing a shirt and the silver jeans are nowhere to be seen. Ra’Mon is sure that he’ll be in the middle of the pack. Gordana is making her own accessories, saying that they are the key to the flapper look. Epperson is gracious about everyone sticking to their genre and doing good work. He doesn’t think he’ll be sent home. As Tim calls time, Irina is sewing her model into some Frederick’s of Hollywood vamp costume. And we’re off.
Guest judges today are John Varvatos, Zoe Glassner and Arianne Philips who, the credits tell us was nominated for an Oscar for her costumes on something or another. Irina’s dress leads off the runway, and it’s long and black and has lace panels on the sides. Action/Adventure vinyl catsuit from Carol Hannah, with a sort of gold harness dangling off the hip. Shirin’s boring can-can dress that you could buy at any Halloween costume shop. Christopher’s bare-armed vampire bride in ivory and pink? With a blackish-tweedyish bustley thing. Nicolas’ silver and white evil ice queen from the planet Zardoz (her make up is astounding, though). Althea’s showing a pencil skirt with a sheer white bat-wing blouse over a black bustier or bra. Must be a film noir siren. Ra’Mon has a green leather lizard dress thing. Louise has made a black flapper dress, but it isn’t really. Epperson has a tattered western lady with leather and denim and boots and it’s gorgeous and Miz Shoes wants it. Gordana’s flapper is pitch perfect and gold. Logan has another black vinyl catsuited assassin and that’s a wrap.
Logan, Carol Hannah, Shirin, Irnia and Althea are safe. Gordana gets picked apart first. Yes, she has crafted an exquisite flapper. Ho-hum say the judges. Where’s the vision? Where’s the innovation? Gordana they say, has the hands of a dressmaker, but not the eyes of a designer.
DanielFranco Lite spins the story of the three sister queens, and the judges all say that oh, yes, they saw that the minute the model stepped on the runway. They knew her story from the clothes. Louise says that her girl is actually an actress from the 40s going to a party dressed as a flapper to get a part as a flapper in a movie about the 20s. Lame. And the judges call it a convoluted mess and a snooze fest. There is nothing strong or special, unlike say, Christopher, who is next. Oh, the accolades! Oh, the wow factor. Oh, how film-worthy. Oh, the love. Oh, the fitted bodice and full skirt, says Miz Shoes.
Ra’Mon gives it his best shot and says that his character is named Lola and she has come from Planet Lizard to mate with our Earth men, for whom she has an insatiable appetite. The judges disagree and say that she’s a swamp thing, a hot green mess and shoddily made.
Epperson’s western look is Fabulous! He “thought outside the box” (and he shows them the hidden details, like the thigh holster for her hidden gun. Miz Shoes wants that too, but for her flask.) There is bravado. There is a contemporary twist. Epperson has created something new from a tired genre, and it wasn’t even one he wanted to work on.
The judges caucus. Gordana is boring, Louise disappointing and Ra’Mon a shambles. They are sympathetic to his desire to create something new in only two hours, but tough titties. Nicolas finally used his favorite white and lace to great effect. The judges say that it would look better on film than on the runway, which makes Miz Shoes ask how teevee is different than film because it looks piss-poor on my hi-def set. Epperson was great. His model worked the dress. He paid attention to details. He worked within a genre he never wanted. He’s toast. Christopher was “perfection from every angle.”
Gordana is in. Epperson is in and robbed of his rightful victory. DanielFranco Lite is the winner and gets immunity for next week, alas. Christopher is merely in. Ra’Mon missed the mark entirely and Louise had no drama (even sewing her finger) and no sense of costume. Her skills and Ra’Mon’s lack thereof result in her staying for another week, and him going home. Tim is much more kind and loving when saying goodbye to Ra’Mon than he was to Johnny-the-Liar.
Next week they work in teams, do something involving dye and praise the lord, Michael Kors is back to take these clowns to school. Now. If only NinaGarcia would come back, too, we might have a show worth watching. And just so you know? Epperson wuz robbed.