In the Atlas, Jesus has left, and Anthony is trying to wake Jay up for bible study…which entails smacking him on the head with the bible, or so Anthony says. In the women’s dorm, Anna Whomever declares herself sweet but fierce, and Mil/ya is peeved that nobody was happy for her when she came in second last week. Maybe that would be because she comes off as a peevish, demanding diva.
On the runway, Heidi reminds us that as last week’s winner, Amy has immunity. Their challenge this week will be to design something “picture perfect”. Tim’s field trip takes them to the Hearst Building, where they meet Joanna Coles, the Editrix in Chief of Marie Claire. This is going to be the biggest challenge in Project Runway history with an unprecedented prize. They will be designing a dress to be worn by Heidi on the cover of the April issue of Marie Claire.
Ms. Coles gives them some guidelines: cover photos are cropped, usually from the hip or waist up. No black; it doesn’t photograph well. No patterned fabrics; it’s hard to run a headline over them. It’s the April issue, so make it spring-like and seasonally appropriate. Finally, this is Marie Claire, so make it sexy, strong and eye-catching so that the magazine flies off the racks.
Thirty minutes to sketch, $150 and thirty minutes at Mood, and a whopping one day to create. Anna Whomever is going for icy: silver,blue and charcoal. Anthony (who has apparently seen Heidi before) is going for short and tight but not slutty. Ben is doing a color story. Emilio is thinking blue. Weepy McWeepersons is grabbing everything she can in blues and greens.
In the workroom, Amy wonders why time gets harder to manage with every challenge. Jesse thinks that the cover of Marie Claire is a huge prize. Seth Aaron sings, does a little soft shoe and annoys the other designers. Ben is working with fuchsia and black. Anthony is going to do something that says Anthony in turquoise. Weepy is doing creams and pinks and decides that this is too bridal, so she second guesses herself and goes off in another direction.
Jonathan says that this means more to him than anything else in his whole career. Mil/ya crows that she her time management gets better with every challenge. Anna Whomever is making shorts, Seth Aaron is making pants, top and jacket. Mil/ya crows that she has no competition in this competition because she is the shit.
Tim’s walkabout begins with Anthony, who is sort of designing on the fly. Tim reminds him to edit. Mil/ya is doing something in a stretch wool, in a sort of lingerie nude color, and color blocking (again.) Weepy is using layering waves of ocean colors. Tim tells her not to let it look like clown clothes. Ben says that his dress is Madame Butterfly on acid, (bad acid). Tim warns him about using metallic leather for the belt. Anna Whomever is doing a juxtaposition of feminine and short shorts. Emilio is all about color. Fuschia. A cocktail dress with corseting at the neck.
Model fitting reveals that Jesse has finished the basketweave inset for the front of his dark teal/green piece. Jay has made an ivory baby doll dress with lots and lots of whicketywhack and frippery. (So not Heidi.) Anna Whomever’s shorts don’t fit. Mil/ya gets the brunt of the majority of the other designer’s trash talk. They call her fake and a one-trick pony. Mil/ya delivers an “I’m here to win, not make friends”. Anthony needs more time. McWeepersons is stressed and needs more time. Emilio should recut his dress because it’s too short, but he HAS. No. TIME.
Day of show, and Weepy and Anna Whomever are catching a clue that their time is running out. Anna thinks she maybe missed the mark on this challenge. She is in “a mode of near hysteria” but Mil/ya is still swanning around being overly confident and Weepy is no where near done. Of course. Tim comes in: FOCUS! PERFECTION! MODELS! Hair. Make up. Blow Fly accessories. We finally see May/la’s dress. It looks like her couture dress, with flaps and layers of flaps making an organic construct at the neck. Weepy’s machine is broken. Ben looks at his cobalt blue and ochre and thinks that this may be his moment. Miz Shoes does not.
Our judges this week are (still and thank the lord) NinaGarcia, Michael Kors, Heidi and the guest, Joanna Coles. Let’s walk:
Amy has made something with patterned fabric. Seth Aaron has made a fitted, fashion-forward jacket and skinny jeans in what looks like a metallic denim. It is hott, and the RLA and I decide that Heidi would wear it in a New York minute. Jesse’s done a little green slip dress and the panel of basketweave is barely visible. Anna Whomever’s shorts are short, the little vest cropped too high and worn over a shapeless blouse. Anthony’s dress is sculpted with flounces of fabric sort of cascading down off one shoulder and working into a structure at the waist and hip. Weepy’s dress is beige with a dark trim on the cut away arm holes. Mil/ya has done beige on beige on beige color blocking. Emilio’s little slip dress is nicer than Jesse’s little slip dress, with more interest at the neckline. Jay’s long, asymmetrical baby doll is also pale. Jonathan has, inexplicably, made a micro-length romper with huge bell sleeves. May/la’s organic collar is beige on grey. And then there’s Ben and his bold color blocking.
Seth Aaron is called first, followed by Jay, May/la, Jesse, Jonathan and Amy, and our hopes of him being among the top designers are dashed. That’s the middle of the pack, and they are safe and sent away.
Ben says that his piece is his impression of Madame Butterfly (for the third time, and Miz Shoes wonders if he’s ever seen the opera or if he’s just hoping nobody else has, either.) Michael Kors says that if this were on the cover of a magazine, it would just cut through the noise of the newsstand. Really? Heidi loves the back. Ms Coles calls it a contender? Again, really?
Anna Whomever says that she made her color palette just for Heidi. NinaGarcia calls her pieces shapeless. Joanna Coles says that she has used three ingredients in one dish that make one nauseous, and that furthermore, Marie Claire is a fashion magazine, not a teen magazine and that Anna Whomever has totally missed the readership.
Anthony says that he was inspired by Heidi her own self and that is why his dress is feminine and modern. Michael cheers that he has taken the one-shoulder look and made it new. Nina is enthusiastic that Anthony has embraced color. Ms Coles calls it great.
Weepy’s ocean inspired dress is dismissed as having seaweed organza hanging around the neck. Heidi does not see it as fashion-forward at all. Ms Coles sniffs that if that is the ocean, it is a polluted sea. Not to be outdone by her boss, NinaGarcia announces that it is sweet and bridal and if there is one thing that Heidi Klum Samuels is not, it is sweet.
Mil/ya’s dress is feminine but strong, she says. No, says Michael Kors, it is an Ace bandage. It is a jog bra with a v-neck. NinaGarcia flatly states that the beige/greige/bland color blocking makes a giant V pointing to the crotch.
Emilio has a strong color, and good detail at the neckline. Michael impressed with how he took soft, drapey jersey and made it structural. NinaGarcia thinks it might be a little junior-ish, and Emilio whips out his scissors and cuts the straps off, right there on the runway. Then he undoes the model’s tight little pony tail. Emilio earns huge points for that with the judges.
The designers are sent away for the real critiquing to happen. Weepy’s dress was not Heidi. Anna Whomever’s work was horrible. NinaGarcia and MK admit that the shorts seem to have been sewn well, though. Maybe. Mil/ya gets the worst of it, with her dress called the color of hospital food, and that being on the cover would cause people to walk right by the magazine rack.
There will be no immunity for our winner tonight, because the reward is So. Huge. And Anthony wins!!! Oh, happy happy joy joy. Heidi loves the dress and can’t wait to wear it. Anthony acknowledges that he has taken every bit of every critique the judges have given him to date and used it to better his designs. Ben is in, Emilio is in, Mil/ya is in. That leaves the expected bottom two: Anna Whomever and Weepy McWeepersons. True to her inability to hold the viewer’s interest, Anna Whomever gets sent home. Weepy weeps and is told to get off the runway, already.
Next week? CHILDREN!!!! This is going to be fun.